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Empty Nesters




Suddenly, without warning, we arrived at a place we had actually, rarely, if ever thought about. Thrust upon us one day completely out of the blue. These days one never knows if it will ever happen. Then poof it arrives.

Yes, we are now Empty Nesters.

So is congratulations in order? Condolences? How would we feel? How do we feel? Will our relationship expand? Suffer? Is divorce on the horizon with this new found freedom? Or will we get closer?

I guess Nirvana is probably a bit of a strong word but its the best a literary newbie with a very limited vocabulary (I never win scrabble) can come up with.

Bliss comes to mind.

Sanctuary?

Just a few years ago I was speaking with a neighbour and telling them my grand plans that my kids would be gone in a few years and on their way to new adventures. To which he responded his 27, 29 and 30 year old were all still at home! Whaaaat?

It's not surprising I guess, even with a good job, home ownership in Toronto is fleeting for the young. Rents are ridiculous. So the bank and free accommodations of mom and dad are hard to resist.

When I lived at home, long, long ago, if I was working I had to pay rent to my parents. And it wasn't insignificant. But we dare not charge this generation rent do we? No, we can't make anything in their lives hard.

I had a conversation with some older gentlemen the other day about how their parents grew up in the depression era. As a result they watched their pennies. I have many older clients who, despite being 80 plus with lots of funds, still worry about running out of money. The upbringing lead them to hard work and careful consideration of what to do with their hard earned cash.

So this begs the question. How will this generation handle money? They have certainly not had it hard. I keep hearing of young people expecting big rewards without actually doing big things. But I digress.


And yes I understand, and have almost gotten over the fact that our kids actually don't want to live with us, they just don't have a choice. I'm not hurt by this. I did it to my parents. I'm sure my mom shed a tear or two, but then quickly realized how great it could be. Her biggest comment on what she missed most about me was that I would always eat all the leftovers! I hate a cluttered fridge but I hate waste even more. Thanks mom??

So back to our sudden arrival of empty nester nirvana. We have 20 and 24 year old boys, men. One has been away at school, now in his 3rd year of a 4 year program. The other was at home, and suddenly up and left and moved in with his buddy an hour away. So yes, I'm aware that they may be back. As I write this the holidays are upon us and they are actually both home in bed right now. So my bliss may come to an end, at any minute, without notice.

But for now I will enjoy it. We have arrived at a destination I didn't know I wanted to go to. The sun is shining, the drinks are cold and the bank account is full.

I hope my kids don't read this. Miss you guys!

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416-903-9078

895 Don Mills Road,

Two Morneau Shepell Centre, 9 Floor, #933

Toronto, Ontario, 

M3C 1W3

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